in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
