Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
