I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
