out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
