i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
