I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Drunk is a universal language darling
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
