ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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