Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just tell him i said nine months
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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