I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
