You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
