Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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