Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
