I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
