More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
