I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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