I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
