I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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