I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
