my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
