She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
