Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
