hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
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