I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
