honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
