Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
if only i could text you this smell
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
