She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
