Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
