instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
