At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
