I'm jealous of your bromance
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
