Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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