I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
