ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
