so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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