As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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