My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
