So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
