well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
