He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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