i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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