Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
