Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
