How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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