On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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