dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
