so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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