All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i think im in europe. pls send help
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
