Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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