Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
