i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i out mim tonsoeep
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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