Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
