I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
