i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
