best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
