You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
