someone get that fucking seahorse.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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