My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
