Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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