May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
