You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
