There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
