chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
This gyro tastes like lonliness
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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