I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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