My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Ketchup is God's man juice
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
