first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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