What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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