I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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