I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
