At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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